Bronn
Why Marry? Because Bronn is smart and funny, though in unconventional ways, and has been more loyal than one might expect from a sellsword.
Why F***? Because you know what they say about long swords...
Why Kill? Because he kills people for money. And judging by his appearance and the company he's kept, your head may have a more attractive pricetag than you'd like.
Sandor "The Hound" Clegane
Why Marry? Because the Hound has grown a lot from the bloodthirsty days of his youth. Time and torture have softened him, and he has shown his capacity for compassion and good judgment.
Why F***? Because you have a thing for guys who are (more than) a little rough around the edges.
Why Kill? Because years of abuse from his childhood have made the Hound hardened and unpredictable. And his alcoholism doesn't help matters, either.
Yoren
Why Marry? Because Yoren is steadfast and dependable. Yes, he may not be the liveliest of guys, but in the unpredictable world of Westeros, loyalty cannot be undervalued.
Why F***? Because as a sworn brother of the Night's Watch for at least thirty years, Yoren is likely desperate for another's affections. There's likely little he wouldn't do to please you and be pleased by you.
Why Kill? Because his years in the Night's Watch have sucked all of the fun from him. He's a bit of a Debbie Downer and - in the grand scheme of things - very expendable.
Our Picks
Cedar: Marry Bronn, F*** Yoren, Kill The Hound
Erin: Marry Yoren, F*** Bronn, Kill The Hound
Jamie: Marry Yoren, F*** Bronn, Kill The Hound
Wow, no love for The Hound? I know he seems like a brute, but there's good in there, deep down, and I know I can change him. Seriously though, I don't think we've seen the end of his development, and I have a feeling by the end of the books he will be less a monster and more like the heroes in Sansa's songs (and then he will die, of course).
ReplyDeleteThe Hound is not THE WORST you could do in Westeros... but compared to the other two guys he was the worst among them. I'm not going to say I don't see the attraction to damaged, tortured dudes... but there's a limit.
DeleteM Yoren, because of all three, he's the least likely to kill me in my sleep.
ReplyDeleteF the Hound, cause all that anger's gotta be good for something!
K Bron, because he can be bought, and I have enemies...