Thursday, March 14, 2013

Barristan Selmy / Brynden Tully / Eddard Stark

Barristan Selmy



Why Marry? Because Barristan is an honest-to-goodness knight in shining armor. When most people can be described as brave, loyal, and honest, you can usually bet they’re none too bright: but not Barristan. This dude knows what’s up. All these qualities would make him an excellent husband (if members of the Kingsguard could marry, which they so can for the purposes of this game).

Why F***? Because you’re into good looking older guys.

Why Kill? Because Barristan was one of the few people who did not give up his allegiance to the Targaryens during Robert’s Rebellion—he supported the Mad King until the very end, which goes to show that he can be loyal to a fault.


Brynden Tully


Why Marry? Because the Blackfish is a kindly man who values his house words above all: family, duty, and honor. He is a handsome man with wit and intelligence as well as compassion. He is, however, a committed bachelor, which might be an impediment to marital bliss.

Why F***? Because he may not be willing to marry you, but a quick romp might be just fine by him!

Why Kill? Because let's be honest: as a group, the Tullys are sort of annoying. Holidays would be unbearable and you know you'd have to go to Riverrun for every. single. one. because "Family. Duty. Honor. Blah blah blah."


Eddard Stark



Why Marry? Because he's Ned F***ing Stark. As handsome as he is kind, this lord of Winterfell cherishes his wife, children, and vassals. His strong moral compass is a hindrance to his political abilities and ambitions, but if quiet country living is the life for you, then by the old gods and the new, marry Ned!

Why F***? Because winter is coming and so should you.

Why Kill? Because, as we all know, our poor Ned is not a particularly gifted player in the Game of Thrones.  If you don’t kill him, someone else will.


Our Picks

Cedar: Marry Ned, F*** Barristan, Kill Brynden
Erin: Marry Barristan, F*** Ned, Kill Brynden
Jamie: Marry Brynden, F*** Ned, Kill Barristan


  1. tough one!!! M: Ned, F: Brynden, K: Barristan
    I had to go with Ned on this one and just pretend that I'd be smart enough to keep his head off the chopping block (literally). I think Brynden is cooler and more interesting, but his family doesn't really like him (read: will not inherit/be Lord Tully) AND we would still have to hang out with Tullys frequently. Lame. I'd also rather live at Winterfell.
    Barristan may be called "the Bold," but he may as well be "Barristan the Boring," because I just don't care.

  2. M Barristan, because he will remain steadfast in his devotion to me even though I will...
    F Ned, because DAY-UM he's hot. But in the GoT, the noble hotties don't last too long. Still...
    K Tully, because all Tullys are annoying as shit.