Thursday, March 21, 2013

Brienne of Tarth / Davos Seaworth / Samwell Tarly

Brienne of Tarth

Why Marry? Because Brienne is starved for affection and quick to love, which will make her a committed partner. Also, she rarely wears anything other than armor and mail, so you won't have to spend lots of money on fancy silk dresses and hairnets dotted with purple amethysts.
Why F***? Because you like a woman on top.
Why Kill? Because Brienne is stubborn and a bit too honorable, both of which can get you into trouble when you play the game of thrones.

Davos Seaworth

Why Marry? Because Davos values his family above all else. He has gone from a low-born smuggler to one of Stannis Baratheon's most trusted confidantes, and continues to be on the rise.
Why F***? Because what he lacks in fingers, he makes up for in... other ways.
Why Kill? Because who wants to hang out with a guy whose nickname is the "Onion Knight?!" Lamest. Sigil. Ever.

Samwell Tarly

Why Marry? Because you want someone with whom to enjoy the finer things in life: music, art, books, food... Sam is also thoughtful, considerate, and -- after being shunned by his father and playing second fiddle to his younger brother for years -- eager for love and acceptance.
Why F***? Because you like being a teacher in the bedroom. Or are content to be without sex for the rest of your life. He is a sworn brother of the Night's Watch, after all.
Why Kill? Because Sam is afraid of his own shadow. When times get tough, the tough get going and Sam gets into the fetal position.

Our Picks

Cedar: Marry Sam, F*** Davos, Kill Brienne
Erin: Marry Davos, F*** Brienne, Kill Sam
Jamie: Marry Sam, F*** Davos, Kill Brienne


  1. M Sam, because I'd rather
    F Davos
    K Brienne, because DAMN that woman annoys me!

  2. M Davos
    F Brienne
    K Sam
    I think the Onion sigil is totally sweet. If I was a knight, my banner would totally have a potato on it- a brown potato on a field of white. And if anyone mocked it they would soon find out why my house motto is, "Stupid Strong."