Friday, February 22, 2013

Eddard Stark / Jon Snow / Robb Stark

Eddard Stark

Why Marry? Because in terms of husbands, you can really do no better than Eddard Stark. He’s loyal, contemplative, and a good family man.

Why F***? Because we’ve known him to leave Catelyn quite fulfilled. And even if he’s not the most creative in the bedroom, he would feel it his duty to satisfy you.

Why Kill? Because you’re a monster with no heart and an evil soul… or a Lannister.

Jon Snow

Why Marry? Because he needs someone to heal his wounded heart. Though years of inferiority in the Stark household have taken its toll, Jon is also kind, intelligent, loyal, and, if his relationship with Arya is any indication, great with kids!

Why F***? Because you’re an idiot if you don’t want to bang Jon Snow. I mean, who doesn’t want to be the one to f*** the pain away? Plus he has that whole tall, dark, and handsome thing going for him.

Why Kill? Because sometimes too much loyalty, bravery, and sense of duty can get annoying. It’s the same impulse that makes us want to see Miss America trip during her victory walk.

Robb Stark

Why Marry? Because if Westeros were to have a Prince Charming, Robb is a strong contender for the title.

Why F***? Because who wouldn’t want to say they slept with the King of the North? Amiright?

Why Kill? Because he’s a little big for his britches. I mean, can you honestly say you haven’t wanted to knock him down a peg? Not ever?

Our Picks

Cedar: Marry Ned, F*** Jon, Kill Robb
Erin: Marry Jon, F*** Ned, Kill Robb
Jamie: Marry Ned, F*** Jon, Kill Robb

1 comment:

  1. M: Robb Stark. HOW DID NO ONE PICK ROBB?! Especially TV Robb, who is hotter than book Robb-?
    F/K: Ned Stark/Jon Snow
    Ned and Jon are pretty much interchangeable for me on this one. Neither one of them is going to enjoy it, since Ned is too honorable and would feel guilty for cheating, and Jon is sworn to the Night's Watch and would feel guilty for oathbreaking. Jon is better looking and has great hair, but at least Ned has experience and isn't all emo.