Daenerys Targaryen / Jon Snow / Tyrion Lannister

Daenerys

Why Marry? Because while the Mother of Dragons may be calculating and violent in her desire to reclaim her birthright, she is nevertheless compassion, wise, even-keeled, and cares deeply for those who are loyal to her. She is also hailed as the most beautiful woman in the world: looks aren’t everything, but they sure don’t hurt.

Why F***? Because this ravishing beauty likes it hot… though probably hotter than you would be comfortable with, actually.

Why Kill? Because “the Targaryens have always danced too close to madness… madness and greatness are two sides of the same coin. Every time a Targaryen is born, the gods toss a coin in the air and the world holds its breath to see how it will land.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t like them odds.

Jon

Why Marry? Because while his past may be murky, his future is clearly with you. Jon is that tragic, broken hero we all believe we can fix—he’s angsty and emo, yet strong and intelligent. Like his father, Jon has honor that knows no bounds, and he would bravely dedicate his life to serving and protecting you. Also, he comes with a great big fluffy puppy!

Why F***? Because once you go black (brother) you never go back.

Why Kill? Because he just keeps going on, and on, and on about his vows. Yes, we know Jon, you’re “a man of the Night’s Watch”—it’s not that big a deal. Shut up!

Tyrion

Why Marry? Because you want a well-born, sophisticated man who can discuss books, politics, and fine wines as easily as he can crack a bawdy joke. He has demonstrated tremendous intelligence, bravery, and compassion. He is also loyal to those close to him: despite being the black sheep of the Lannister clan, Tyrion prides himself on “never betting against family.”

Why F***? Because you like to get a little impish between the sheets.

Why Kill? Because he’s a noseless dwarf who’s pissed off a whole lot of powerful people: allying with him may not be a particularly savvy move.

Our Picks

Cedar: Marry Daenerys, F*** Jon, Kill Tyrion
Erin: Marry Jon, F*** Danenerys, Kill Tyrion
Jamie: Marry Tyrion, F*** Daenerys, Kill Jon

Daenerys Targaryen / Margaery Tyrell / Ygritte

Daenerys Targaryen

Why Marry? Because Dany is confident, beautiful, ambitious, and, arguably, the rightful Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. How awesome would it be to stand by her side as she reclaims the throne? Also, she has dragons.

Why F***? Because she has become well-versed in the language of the bedroom through her marriage to Khal Drogo and thorough instruction from Doreah. She's also stunningly attractive.

Why Kill? Because as her confidence has grown, so has her determination to get what she wants at any cost. Dany has left many dead or damaged in her wake, and if she sees you as an obstacle to reaching the Iron Throne, you're likely to become one of them. Did I mention she has dragons?!

Margaery Tyrell

Why Marry? Because who wouldn't want to married to the most beautiful woman in Westeros? Margaery is also kind, smart, and more clever than she appears.

Why F***? Because taking the maidenhood of the most beautiful woman in Westeros is the next best thing to marrying her.

Why Kill? Because the Tyrells have thorns hidden behind those rosy exteriors, and they are less pliable and predictable than they originally appear.

Ygritte

Why Marry? Because she's spontaneous, fun to be around, and good-humored. If you want a strong, confident wildling woman, Ygritte's your gal!

Why F***? Because her passion is as fiery as her hair. She's experienced and insatiable, and has probably picked up some tricks during her adventures beyond the Wall.

Why Kill? Because she's an unpredictable wildling and killing is in her blood.

Our Picks

Cedar: Marry Dany, F*** Margaery, Kill Ygritte
Erin: Marry Dany, F*** Margaery, Kill Ygritte
Jamie: Marry Margaery, F*** Dany, Kill Ygritte