Bronn
Why Marry? Because Bronn is smart and funny, though in unconventional ways, and has been more loyal than one might expect from a sellsword.
Why F***? Because you know what they say about long swords...
Why Kill? Because he kills people for money. And judging by his appearance and the company he's kept, your head may have a more attractive pricetag than you'd like.
Sandor "The Hound" Clegane
Why Marry? Because the Hound has grown a lot from the bloodthirsty days of his youth. Time and torture have softened him, and he has shown his capacity for compassion and good judgment.
Why F***? Because you have a thing for guys who are (more than) a little rough around the edges.
Why Kill? Because years of abuse from his childhood have made the Hound hardened and unpredictable. And his alcoholism doesn't help matters, either.
Yoren
Why Marry? Because Yoren is steadfast and dependable. Yes, he may not be the liveliest of guys, but in the unpredictable world of Westeros, loyalty cannot be undervalued.
Why F***? Because as a sworn brother of the Night's Watch for at least thirty years, Yoren is likely desperate for another's affections. There's likely little he wouldn't do to please you and be pleased by you.
Why Kill? Because his years in the Night's Watch have sucked all of the fun from him. He's a bit of a Debbie Downer and - in the grand scheme of things - very expendable.
Our Picks
Cedar: Marry Bronn, F*** Yoren, Kill The Hound
Erin: Marry Yoren, F*** Bronn, Kill The Hound
Jamie: Marry Yoren, F*** Bronn, Kill The Hound
Roose Bolton
Why Marry? Because when it comes to Roose Bolton, it's much better to be with him than against him. He is clever and skilled both on and off the battlefield and holds family in high regard.
Why F***? Because as a proponent of the "Lord's Right" marriage tradition, Roose has much practice in bedding newlywed maidens. He's also described as "soft hairless," if that's your thing.
Why Kill? Because Roose Bolton is arguably one of the cruelest men in Westeros. If you cross him, you're likely to get flayed, as his sigil forewarns. He's also really into leechings. Gross.
Sandor "The Hound" Clegane
Why Marry? Because he is strong and obedient, and behind that mutilated exterior is a glimmer of kindness, as evidenced by his saving Sansa multiple times from potential torture, rape, and murder.
Why F***? Because although he may not be the prettiest thing to look at, the Hound needs someone to lick his wounds, so to speak. Years of being ridiculed and hated have undoubtedly taken their toll, and all that pent-up frustration and anger may make for a wild night in bed.
Why Kill? Because at the end of the day, the Hound is brutal and dangerous. He has been killing men since he was 12, and old habits die hard.
Viserys Targaryen
Why Marry? Because if you care about family lineage, Viserys is the rightful heir to the Iron Throne, and marrying him could make you queen.
Why F***? Because Viserys has the beautiful silver-blond hair and purple eyes of the Targaryen clan. And if you call him your "king" in the bedroom, you could be in for a fulfilling night.
Why Kill? Because Viserys can be vicious and abusive, particularly if you do something that "awakens the dragon." His steadfast belief in his right to the Iron Throne causes him to insult or attack anyone who challenges that conviction.
Our Picks
Cedar: Marry The Hound, F*** Roose Bolton, Kill Viserys
Erin: Marry The Hound, F*** Viserys, Kill Roose Bolton
Jamie: Marry The Hound, F*** Roose Bolton, Kill Viserys
