Barristan Selmy
Why
Marry? Because Barristan is an honest-to-goodness knight in shining armor. When
most people can be described as brave, loyal, and honest, you can usually bet
they’re none too bright: but not Barristan. This dude knows what’s up. All
these qualities would make him an excellent husband (if members of the
Kingsguard could marry, which they so can for the purposes of this game).
Why
F***? Because you’re into good looking older guys.
Why
Kill? Because Barristan was one of the few people who did not give up his
allegiance to the Targaryens during Robert’s Rebellion—he supported the Mad
King until the very end, which goes to show that he can be loyal to a fault.
Brynden Tully
Why
Marry? Because the Blackfish is a kindly man who values his house words above
all: family, duty, and honor. He is a handsome man with wit and intelligence as
well as compassion. He is, however, a committed bachelor, which might be an
impediment to marital bliss.
Why
F***? Because he may not be willing to marry you, but a quick romp might be
just fine by him!
Why
Kill? Because let's be honest: as a group, the Tullys are sort of annoying.
Holidays would be unbearable and you know you'd have to go to Riverrun
for every. single. one. because "Family. Duty. Honor. Blah blah
blah."
Eddard Stark
Why
Marry? Because he's Ned F***ing Stark. As handsome as he is kind, this lord of
Winterfell cherishes his wife, children, and vassals. His strong moral compass
is a hindrance to his political abilities and ambitions, but if quiet country
living is the life for you, then by the old gods and the new, marry Ned!
Why
F***? Because winter is coming and so should you.
Why
Kill? Because, as we all know, our poor Ned is not a particularly gifted player
in the Game of Thrones. If you don’t kill him, someone else will.
Our Picks
Cedar: Marry Ned, F*** Barristan, Kill Brynden
Erin: Marry Barristan, F*** Ned, Kill Brynden
Jamie: Marry Brynden, F*** Ned, Kill Barristan
