Mance Rayder / Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish / Theon Greyjoy

Mance Rayder

Why Marry? Because if you can't marry the King on the Iron Throne, you might as well marry the King Beyond the Wall. Mance is a lover of music and entertainment and seems to treat his women (relatively) well.

Why F***? Because he's got some wildling in him. He's not a bad-looking fellow and the wildlings are known for being fearless in the sack.

Why Kill? Because Mance is a turncoat; he deserted his brothers of the Night's Watch and now plans to attack them. You can't trust him.

Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish

Why Marry? Because as we've mentioned before, Littlefinger has pulled himself up by his bootstraps to become one of the most powerful players in King's Landing. He's going places, and you could be the one that goes with him.

Why F***? Because he started learning the ways of women at a young age from the Tully girls, so he's had plenty of time to practice.

Why Kill? Because Littlefinger is a sneaky little bugger. He will likely stop at nothing to gain more power, and you should probably get rid of him before he gets rid of you.

Theon Greyjoy

Why Marry? Because Theon is ambitious and clever. All he wants is for someone to love and believe in him, and if you're that someone, there's probably little he wouldn't do for you.

Why F***? Because he's tall, dark, and handsome. Plus he's been around the block a few times.

Why Kill? Because he is both arrogant and ruthless: a dangerous combination.

Our Picks

Cedar: Marry Mance, F*** Theon, Kill Littlefinger
Erin: Marry Mance, F*** Theon, Kill Littlefinger
Jamie: Marry Mance, F*** Theon, Kill Littlefinger

Cersei Lannister / Lysa Arryn / Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish

Cersei Lannister

Why Marry? Because she is Queen regent and a prominent member of an extremely powerful family—marrying her could be an advantageous political move.

Why F***? Because she is one of the fairest ladies in the land.

 

Why Kill? Because the Maester General has determined that being married to Cersei is hazardous to your health. And unless you're Jaime, you are not her bedroom type. Also: she's Cersei Lannister. Come on now.

 

 

 

Lysa Arryn

 

 

Why Marry? Because even though Lysa is a neurotic psychopath, she’s pretty easily manipulated if you play your cards right (though you have to be okay with playing second fiddle to Little Lord Robert). Also, as she’s Catelyn’s sister, you would have a good excuse to go hang out with the Starks if you wanted to!

Why F***? Because Lysa is completely love-starved and all that longing would probably make for a fun time.

Why Kill? Because the woman is completely insufferable.

 

 

 

Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish

 

 

Why Marry? Because he has worked his way up from a backwater lordling to one of the most powerful men in Westeros: this guy is a master player and allying yourself with him may not be a bad bet. If you truly believe yourself to be in his good graces his scheming could get you places.

Why F***? Because he’s a quick study, and has probably picked up a few good tips in the brothel he owns.

Why Kill? Because as Ned Stark learned too late, Littlefinger is dangerous. If you leave him alive, you will always have to be on your toes.

Our Picks

Cedar: Marry Cersei, F*** Lysa, Kill Littlefinger

Erin: Marry Lysa, F*** Cersei, Kill Littlefinger

Jamie:  Marry Lysa, F*** Cersei, Kill Littlefinger