Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Salladhor Saan / Shae / Syrio Forel

Salladhor Saan


Why Marry? Because Salladhor is a man of the world—smuggler, trader, banker—there is nary a trade this enterprising pirate lord does not dabble in. Yet his flamboyant nature and jovial sense of humor belies a hard, serious businessman. This combination could make for a fun yet secure husband. He was also named Lord of Blackwater Bay, so marrying him would make you a pirate lady! (To be real, though: he was named thus by some big eared Florent, so who knows how much sway that actually holds)

Why F***? Because Salladhor seems to like to keep it casual—he prefers concubines to wives—so it might behoove you to just have a good time.

Why Kill? Because: pirate! This Lysene ne’er-do-well will likely ne’er do well, and is more interested in gold than loyalty, so you’d best stay away.


Why Marry? Because Shae is as witty as she is beautiful—she has won the interest and eventually the heart of Tyrion Lannister, which is an impressive feat. Despite her humble origins, the dark haired and petite Shae has developed a taste for the finer things, but if you can provide her with a manse and fine dresses, she may prove a loyal companion.

Why F***? Because she is a professional, and professionalism is so hard to find these days.

Why Kill? Because Tywin and Cersei Lannister have threatened to do it already.

Syrio Forel

Why Marry? Because Syrio Forel is awesome. This Braavosi water dancer knows how to train champions: he is tough yet nurturing, so can we say “awesome father material”? He’s also brave and loyal, having saved Arya by fending off a cadre of guards with a wooden sword, which is so kickass I can hardly stand it.

Why F***? Because you’re into tough love.

Why Kill? Because you want the bragging rights. Again, the guy took out five guards with a wooden sword. Not a real sword: a sword made of wood. If you could take him out you’re basically a god. (Sidenote: we haven’t seen Syrio in a long time, but he has to be alive, right? Right?!) 

Our Picks
C-$: Marry Syrio, F*** Shae, Kill Salladhor 
Erin: Marry Syrio, F*** Shae, Kill Salladhor
Jamie: Marry Syrio, F*** Shae, Kill Salladhor